Moving Forward Not Moving On

I remember

a time when I ran down the street so filled with frustration but I never stopped. I remember one foot in front of the other thanking my anger for fueling my workout — fast, furious, pushing my self to the limit routine.

I remember

thinking how boxed in I felt in the office in the grey cube. But I loved being that girl who saw so many powerful women in the 1980s go out in the workforce and be business woman. This was everything I always wanted and I was 100% into my career. I am so grateful for all the amazing women bosses and owners I worked for in marketing for 14 years. 

I remember 

how I felt just like Melanie Griffith in the movie Working Girl. The pavement bouncing away from my feet in confident long strides. Then when I finally had a child, looking into my first born's eyes. I did not want to leave her for a moment. I was a first-time mom and being the woman I always wanted to be — with children and with options to continue my career if I wished. 

I remember  

enjoying my children as little sweet beings: playing and exploring with them, having difficulties with them, being exhausted, all the Mom friends I met and this blog space which documented my artistic and yogic endeavors outside the kids. 

I remember

this iconic scene from Working Girl. It's a perfect place to transition this Blogger space which I held for over a decade. I honor it as record of my time in the late 2000s. 

Moving forward not moving on feels good. FIND MORE MUSINGS BY ME AT MY NEW SPACE HelenHillYoga and lots and lots and lots to share at NEW BLOG Yoga. Poems. Eats.

A bientot,
Helen

ps- (omg total segway hilarious quotes, a bit dated but awesome here) 

Reflect on the Light Within

Reflections

The Holiday season is coming with its sparkly lights and glow and feathery celebrations to keep us going in the darkness of earth's winter. Soon, the solstice will be upon us and the light outside will gently redirect. It's a great time now, to  get in touch with the light aka the prana that flows within us . . . 

"By samyama (deep meditation) on the Light within, knowledge of the subtle, hidden and remote is obtained." - Satchidananda, Sutra 3.26 This esoteric teaching challenges yogis to tap into their energy bodies and experience the illuminated quality of the mind. 

Meditation

A practice for this concept is to sit in meditation and view light moving through the top of the head to the heart center as you inhale and exhale. Then maintain the feeling of the lifeforce/light within you. It's tricky. Set your timer for at least 15 minutes. "Do it; Try it. Nice things will happen." - Satchidananda 

When I work with this samyama practice, I have found some tearful revelations. A little sweet voice inside whispers . . . you are so much greater than you feel. Here's an ode to sensing messages post samyama—

Stargaze Sunrays

I am a star,
I am a gentle feather
that guides you.

I am a dove,
I am a soft cloud
that softens you.

I am a bright spirit,
I am a sun ray
that holds you.

I am a voice,
I am a heart 
that melts you. 

I am a touch,
I am a song
that soothes you.

I am a healer,
I am a luminary
that blankets you.

When a Publisher Says yes

When a publisher says yes and accepts your work in their journal, without knowing you, you know you stand out from the slush pile, from the hundreds of entries they are reading and 99% of the time they are rejecting work. So it's a victory. . . a small humble feat I haven't pursued or felt in years. . . and here, on the day after the 10th day of Navartri, when our Hindu brothers and sisters all over the globe celebrated Vijayadasami, a day of triumph, where good conquers evil. May I be bold enough and honor my little win in the name of this day?

Here's what the publisher said about my work: 
"These two pieces are incredibly strong as a result of their use of vivid imagery and willingness to extend the mind into the past and the divine. Both 'The mugwort leaves beneath' and 'Yagas' capture what 7th-Circle Pyrite advocates when we speak of celebrating 'worlds beyond.' A particular highlight is the structure and flow present in 'The mugwort leaves beneath'; each line's blending into the next combined with emphatic breaks create a colorful coexistence of stability and freedom. Very nice work!"

Intrigued? I will post the poems once they go live. And, I truly feel this as a victory because the poem the editor really loved was one which I struggled with creating. I shelved the poem for several months, and as I toggled it between placing it in my archive and active folders, I probably re-wrote it 20 times over the last 18 months before I felt like I finally got it to a place I felt satisfied with it.

And as we bask in the afterglow of the Navartri celebration, know that "Vijayadasami is more than just a day of celebration—it’s a beacon, signaling auspicious beginnings. Be it starting a venture, diving into education, or embarking on a personal journey." - Shunya

In addition, my peers in yogic circles refer to this time of year as a time where the veil between the worlds gets thinner- meaning that witchy, mysterious season when the unseen and the seen commune. This is often referred to as the time of Sanhaim and more of the pagan rituals of the dark goddesses are being celebrated. What comes up for me is the continuation of the Navartri celebration- what web of energy is leaving you depleted? Where are your power centers and how are you nurturing them? What can you spiritually gain in exchange for your proactive work on your path? What does it mean to put yourself in a challenging situation and gain something from it? How do you armor yourself in that fierce, dark love and be true to yourself?

With much love,
Helen

Watercolor Logos for Naturally Yoga

 

Related to- Paths to Her

Wish you were here

What did I do this summer? Doodles from my sketchbook . . .

Kill My Darlings

10 Years of Work and Fire Pit

Today is the day that the light turns to darkness and where reason meets unattachment and closure seals a clearer path in my artistic endeavors. I have experimented with illustrations and writing for the Children's Literature market. I have had a few successes. Yet for the last five years, I have done more dappling into abstract paintings and the practice of yoga.

Today I sorted through my stories and illustrations from the last ten years and put my best work into a bomb fire. Burn baby burn! It smelt awful. Paper ash no good unless you have a steady metal grate that covers the fire. And it roared from about 10 am to 7 pm.

With the remaining work, I glued into three massive canvases. I then painted over my old, glued work! See below, this is the first of this series of paintings.

Phew! Feels awesome. A bientot!

The Black Goddess

Farewell